Denied entry into the UK. Heading back here.

Hopefully for good.

Seven exploding at mom, mom going to hospital, various other dramatic bullshits. My life, and family, are so incredibly surreal, and not in the good David Lynch kind of way. More in the creepy, wish-I-was-on-the-other-side-of-the-world-under-an-assumed-name surreal.

Night time, mixed with other things, brings a sense of unease.

I feel depressed. Self-loathing is rising up. Despite a confident exterior, I can't help but feel like I'm a complete fuck-up with no redeeming qualities. An asshole who will die alone, unmourned and unloved. Sometimes it feels like I should accelerate this and just enter nothingness willingly, but I know I can't. Life, despite it's depressions, is still more valuable than death. This is all we have, and I want to make it last.

Still, paranoia and hatred are my defining feelings at this particular moment. I hate to be paranoid and depressed, but here I am!

Hey look, I'm whining in an LJ entry.

Ask me either a broad question (i.e 'who is your cruelest character?', 'what is your most optimistic story?') or a specific question/request ('what would does ___ come from?', 'tell me about ___') and I will answer you. Or you can ask meta- questions like 'what was the inspiration for creating ____?'

Stolen from atomicfiction

Post a picture in my comments of what you think describes me when you think about what/who I am. No matter how surreal or plain.

Give no written explanation.

Just an image.

I just turned 21.

You know what my favorite singularities are? Black holes.

Stolen from Farore/Bowrll.

Comment here and I will give a brief honest assessment of what I think of you, with no sugarcoating or holding back, bearing in mind that my opinions are only based on personal experiences exclusive to me so it's not worth taking for anything more than the value of only one person's opinion. Do not comment unless you are willing to possibly hear bad things as well.

So I (most likely) sprained my ankle by falling down the stairs. Really badly. I can't walk on my left leg and my foot has internal bleeding/bruising so bad that my heel is almost completely blue and purple. It's a good thing we have some crutches lying around or I'd have to crawl everywhere (which would suck).

I can still move my foot with relatively little pain, so we're pretty sure it's not a break, but it did swell pretty badly. Something like the size of a large grapefruit, as opposed to the norm which is about the size of a small orange or tangerine. There's also a loss of mobility at the moment. Here's hoping it heals alright. I'm going to see the doctor if the bruising isn't gone by the 2nd.

( Holy fucking dicknipples a videogame meme )

Butts.

I turn 20 today. Happy birthday to me.

I went.

Full post later.

Back from my week-long vacation in Wisconsin with robocoon, candiedmouth, and company (unsure if they have le El Gays). One of the best times of my life. Here's a list of what we did, in no particular order:

-Discussed the possibility to making characters for MUGEN
-Played lots of DotA
-Played board games
-Smoked some nice cigars
-Went out to dinner a few times
-Watched Boondock Saints
-Talked a lot

I also brought home with me:

-A hoodie with a cartoony Dragonmaw on it (I LOVE THIS THING <3 <3 <3)
-A collar with "Dragonmaw and Techno BFFS 4 srs" (LOVE THIS TOO)
-An original of a commission I got from Farore (MORE LOVE)
-A valentine's construction paper cutout (SO MUCH LOVE)

All in all, a wonderful experience. I must do it again soon. And also possibly visit the Dells next time.

Doctor thinks the lump is possibly more dangerous/unusual. Surgery time.

1. I’ll respond with something random I like about you.

2. I’ll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.

3. I’ll pick a flavor of Jell-o to wrestle with you in.

4. I’ll say something that only makes sense to you and me.

5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.

6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of.

7. I’ll ask you something that I’ve always wondered about you.

8. Congratulations, you have just contracted an Electronically Transmitted Disease (ETD) also known as a meme. Because of your egocentrism, you must now post this in your own journal

Turns out it was gynecomastia or something related. No cancer for me.

My computer blue-screened, and thanks to an accidental misplaced power cord, I lost everything on E:. The game I was working on, my art... everything.

Weekdays:

-Test games at my job
-Play games when I get home
-Talk to one of the following people: robocoon, blitzdrachen, sillyotter

Weekends:

-Play more games

It's such a productive life. Big things that have happened recently:

-Sent off Christmas packages to robocoon, candiedmouth, and blitzdrachen
-Got into argument(s) with father. No bad blood between us, though
-Balked at sister's intense furfaggotry
-Had three (3!) separate cases of cellulitis
-Bit by a spider
-Bought a PS3 and games for family
-Worked a shift at GameStop (!)
-DRAMA. That's all.

A back cover to go with the front cover to robocoon's album Things In The Sky

( Cut for huge images )

You can download the album in .rar format at the top link